Ranking the greatest Euros goals of all time: Van Basten, Schick and… Robson-Kanu

At some point between June 14 and July 14, we will witness moments of immeasurable genius.

Goals will be scored that make your jaw slacken and your eyes extend. Some will cause you to yelp involuntarily, or gasp, or gawp in silence.

It’s a pretty exciting prospect really; astounding things are about to happen that will be talked about 50 years hence.

But, dear reader, of the 829 goals scored in 337 Euros matches so far, which are the yelpiest, gaspiest and gawpiest? Which goals were moments of unfiltered genius? Which are the ones that cause journalists to make up words like ‘yelpiest’?

You might think you know what the No 1 goal on this list will be and, yes, you probably do because it tops pretty much everyone’s list of top Euros goals. But, before we get to Luke Shaw, let us marvel at nine other goals of breathtaking beauty.

Don’t write in, it’s just for fun.

10) Hal Robson-Kanu, Wales v Belgium, 2016

One of the many reasons this goal is so special is that absolutely no one who was watching Wales v Belgium would have predicted what was about to happen.

Many great goals, including some on this list, would have been immediately preceded by cries of “Hit it!”. They are still great because of their outstanding, flawless execution, but, in this case, not even the three men immediately surrounding Robson-Kanu had the slightest clue what he was about to do.

They are Marouane Fellaini, Thomas Meunier and Jason Denayer, three players who, unlike Robson-Kanu, played in the Champions League and won multiple honours at the top level.

There is a video of the goal to come, but the screenshots are delicious.

Like owls suddenly startled by a hungry fox, the heads of the three players face in the opposition direction to where their bodies are going.

To elevate its greatness, the goal was scored at a crucial moment in a quarter-final.

And to add to its mystique, well, the limbs behind the goal, what it meant for Wales at their first Euros and the fact Robson-Kanu was a free agent having just been released by Reading. Oh yes. This is Euros heritage.

As a wise man named Jebediah Springfield once said: “A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.”

9) Tomas Brolin, Sweden v England, 1992

You wonder whether, had players who are more celebrated and renowned scored certain great goals, those would be elevated even higher in the subconscious of the average football fan.

If Lionel Messi had produced what Robson-Kanu did, for example, perhaps it would be talked about outside of Wales more than it is and the same probably applies to one of Thomas Brolin’s career-high moments, which came at Euro 1992.

‘One of’ is accurate because Brolin enjoyed a pretty spectacular early part of his career, helping Sweden to two major tournament semi-finals (Euro 92 and the 1994 World Cup) and winning two European club trophies with Parma.

Brolin is also considered one of the worst signings in the history of both Leeds United and Crystal Palace. With good reason. He (belly) flopped at Leeds after a big-money £4.5million (then $7m) transfer went wrong and then later failed to score in 15 appearances for Palace, amid (completely fair) accusations of being overweight.

Brolin had been nicknamed the baby-faced assassin but by the time he arrived at Selhurst Park in 1998, the only target he was finishing off was a plate of meatballs.

Anyway, in 1992, he was at the peak of his powers and this goal is possibly the best on this list in terms of how it was engineered. Brolin starts on the left wing and there is no obvious path to goal, with England’s defence reasonably well set.

In the next eight seconds, he brilliantly weaves his way into the penalty area via two one-twos and then plants a first-time finish into the top corner.

8) Maniche, Portugal v Netherlands, 2004

There is only room for one thunderbastard in our top 10 and, because of that, there are some apologies due. Mario Balotelli almost snuck onto the list for his kerpow strike for Italy against Germany in the 2012 semis, ditto Luis Figo for his unsaveable 30-yarder to where the owl sleeps (final owl reference, that’s a promise) against England in 2000.

While both Balotelli and Figo’s goals were 10/10 jobs, they lose out to Maniche because the scorers were in a recognised, central goalscoring position when they struck the ball. Maniche was in no such place, positioned as he was to the left of the area having just received a short corner. Pick. It. Out.

7) Davor Suker, Croatia v Denmark, 1996

You may arrive at the bottom of this list and implode into a fit of rage that Karel Poborsky is not on it, but of the two impudent lobs/chips/scoops over a marooned keeper in Euro 1996, Suker gets the nod. Why? Poborsky loses possession in the build-up and benefits from a lucky ricochet before keeper Vitor Baia begs to be lobbed by unnecessarily running from his line, like Jose Mourinho sprinting from his bench in that gif you’ve seen.

It’s still an outstanding goal, but Suker’s is marginally better. Why? Like another great Euros goal, Antonin Panenka’s penalty in 1976, it is premeditated but enacted to perfection.

Suker receives a long pass over the top, takes two touches with his right foot and then surprises Peter Schmeichel, probably the best goalkeeper in the world at the time, with a left-footed lob. It’s deft, it’s cute, it’s a goal that puts a smile on your face.

“Schmeichel got a lob that I would have done if I had been playing on the street,” Suker later said. Very, very fun.

6) Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Sweden v Italy, 2004


Zlatan Ibrahimovic celebrates scoring against Italy (Sandra Behne/Bongarts/Getty Images)

We would learn to expect the unexpected from Zlatan Ibrahimovic — 30-yard overhead kicks, comparing himself favourably to God, etc — but in 2004 he was still just a human being, specifically a 22-year-old forward at Ajax who elicited curiosity from the wider football world but not yet wonderment, with his talent and his ego still being worked on.

In English eyes, Euro 2004 was Wayne Rooney’s summer. He bulldozed onto the European/international stage with brutish poise and comparisons to Pele. Yet it was Ibrahimovic who scored the goal of the tournament (which won’t have come as a surprise to the Swede, who would say years later: “If Rooney did join PSG, he would have to get used to the fact that Zlatan scores even better goals than him.”).

It is one of those goals that only a few players in the world would even think of attempting, such as Cristiano Ronaldo or Hal Robson-Kanu.

There are defenders in the Italian penalty area by the names of Fabio Cannavaro and Alessandro Nesta, and a goalkeeper called Gianluigi Buffon. But Ibrahimovic, with an airborne backwards doink, lobs over the helpless Christian Vieri on the line in the manner of a warm-up exercise for Swan Lake.

It’s improbable, it’s beautiful, it’s Zlatan.

5) Xherdan Shaqiri, Switzerland v Poland, 2016

There were only eight minutes remaining of this last-16 tie when, with Switzerland 1-0 down, Shaqiri produced an Exocet of an overhead kick, complete with pace, whip and precision, the ball kissing the post on the way in.

If nothing else, this goal is a reminder you need to watch every minute of every game of the Euros… even if it is Switzerland v Poland.

4) Ronnie Whelan, Republic of Ireland v Soviet Union, 1988

Talking of acrobatic left-footed volleys from just outside the box…

When you google Ronnie Whelan’s name, the second suggested predictive search that comes up (after ‘Ronnie Whelan Liverpool‘) is ‘Ronnie Whelan own goal’ (to be fair, it’s a beauty of a 20-yard lob at Old Trafford).

It is a travesty of justice to the man’s career that ‘Ronnie Whelan utter filth at the Euros’ isn’t higher on the search engine’s algorithm, because good gravy, this was something truly special. And at Ireland’s first major tournament to boot.

If you think this should be lower down the list because it originates from a long throw, you’d be wrong, because there is no snobbery here. Beauty comes in many forms: the Wolverhampton skyline at night, a goal from a long throw, anything.

It is none other than Mick McCarthy who hurls the throw inordinately high over six Soviet players and Whelan catches it perfectly with his shin (yes, fine, but let’s be honest, Rooney’s overhead v Manchester City was the same body part), unleashing a rocket into the top corner, akin to someone thwacking the falling Hubble Telescope first time out of the sky with a giant baseball bat.

Rinat Dasayev, voted the best goalkeeper in the world that year, can’t keep it out. It won’t be the last incomprehensible worldie he’s beaten by at the tournament.

3) Paul Gascoigne, England v Scotland, 1996

“I’m not surprised, it was what I expected beforehand… Gascoigne doesn’t look physically right, he doesn’t look emotionally right.”

The words of pundit Jimmy Hill at half-time during England v Scotland. Gascoigne had endured a woeful start to England’s home Euros. He and the team were flat against Switzerland in the opening game and less than ordinary in the first half against the Scots.

Alan Shearer headed England in front in the 53rd minute but Scotland were still arguably the better side. They should have equalised when Gary McAllister’s penalty was saved by Uri Geller David Seaman.

If it weren’t for his peroxide-blond hair, you might not have noticed Gascoigne was on the field. And he was about to be subbed.

But then…

“You can’t teach kids that, it was pure instinct,” Gascoigne, a Rangers player at the time, said. “I trained with Andy Goram every day, so I knew how to beat him. I knew I had to get over the ball and hit it low.”

There is a certain level of nostalgic embellishment about what England did at Euro 96, but there is no overstating the daring virtuosity of Gascoigne’s raw ingenuity.

2) Patrik Schick, Czech Republic v Scotland, 2021 (Euro 2020)

Scotland again, sorry, but to be fair no goal has ever been scored from further out at a Euros. Or indeed at a World Cup.

Schick shook the Euros in 2021 with a jaw-dropping strike from 54 yards out. He noticed in the first half that Scotland ’keeper David Marshall had a penchant for strolling off his line, so when the ball ricocheted into his path in the 52nd minute of this group-stage opener, Schick had a quick glance, took an almighty first-time swish and watched it sail over Marshall’s head.

“It was a nice goal,” Schick said afterwards, before adding that the sun is “well, quite warm really”.

There was further insight from Scotland boss Steve Clarke: “If Marshall was on his line, he’d have caught it.”

Cheers, lads. Always great to hear these first-hand anecdotes from the people who matter.

Anyway, no such understatements here. This is one of the best Euros goals of all time and very nearly the greatest.

1) Marco van Basten, Netherlands v Soviet Union, 1988

But try as he might, Schick couldn’t dethrone the OG. This is The Sopranos of Euros goals, the original GOAT and still reigning champion.

It is the only goal on our list from a final (with apologies to John Jensen in 1992, maybe David Trezeguet in 2000 and, yes, Shaw in 2021) and, well, just look at it. Again, you’re asking the question: ‘How did he even think to attempt it?’.

We should probably just hear from the man himself.

“I was a little tired,” Van Basten said. “The ball came from Arnold Muhren and I was thinking, ‘OK, I can stop it and do things with all these defensive players or I could do it the more easy way: take a risk and shoot’.

The easy way, he says. Like Beethoven composing Symphony No 9 and saying it was easier than doing the dishes.

Originality, an enormously high tariff of difficulty, perfect technique and flawless execution. It can only be Van Basten.

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(Top photos: Getty Images)



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